HAWGOOD, IAN - LOVE RETAINED (CD)

"I am happy to say that I have been able to deal with my bouts of depression with the love of my family. However, I have been unable to finish an album myself since 'The Shattered Light', as I found the pressure to complete something in any timeframe caused the stress that would in turn lead to depression. That's five years now, but understanding these triggers really helps in the long run, even if this means I will likely not complete a new album ever again. It is not something that ever goes away, not something that ever really heals. But being aware of it and how to deal with it the best way you can really is fundamental to a half-way passable life. The two genuine attempts to end my life were taken with a twenty year gap, so the struggle never really ends, and I am sure many people out there can appreciate this. You are not alone, even if it feels that way a great deal of the time. 'Love Retained' is a series of mostly piano sketches I made which I had intended for collaboration. The recordings are simply tracked to cassette, and contain no editing or mastering, so you know, filled with 'mistakes'. They are pieces I found really enjoyable to make, and have found I have increasingly enjoyed looping on low levels at night, or when the mind wonders/wanders. They are incomplete and yet it feels right for me to give this to friends, family, and anyone else that this connects to in some way. The incompletion is a beautiful and freeing thing. This release marks my first and last solo release on the label I founded with my friend Ben many moons ago, and also marks me fully stepping down from the label after returning for a bit in 2016. This album has been designed by Christian Roth who has been a dear friend for so long, and along with another great friend in Jeremy Bible, they helped the aesthetic of the label right in those early days. I am so happy and proud of what we have achieved between us, and thank you all for listening and supporting our work." (label info) comes in four panel recycled card package